Nuclear Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

An Iranian official calls for a crack-down against cigarettes smuggled into the Islamic Republic. The reason is not – as someone might foolishly believe – that cigarettes cause bad breath, yellow teeth, lung cancer and other unpleasantness. No, the Iranian official warned that “the Zionists” behind the international tobacco company Philip Morris (no, not Phillip Morris) fill their cigarettes with radioactive waste and pigs’ blood – thus rendering them not only extra lethal but also haram.

Nordic Dervish points out how fortunate it is that the perfidious Jews at least haven’t been able to get their hands on the locally produced Iranian cigarettes. Pious Iranian smokers can safely continue with their nasty habits as long as they stay away from the foreign brands.